One of my personal self-love tips is kind of harsh, but totally worthwhile.
When it comes to self love, a lot of the time the fear of being judged or criticized gets in the way.
Maybe you treated yourself to a new outfit but you are too shy to wear it. Or you want to go to a fun fitness class but are worried other people will judge you for not knowing what you are doing.
But this little fact has helped me overcome my fears in order to focus on myself:
No one cares about what you’re doing.
And I don’t mean that in a “no one cares about you’, ‘you’re all alone’, kind of way.
Not at all.
But, when it comes to the people around you (strangers or just mere acquaintances), in reality, they are all much too worried about themselves to put that much effort into caring about what’s going on with you.
I mean think about it.
Can you remember an outfit that you saw someone wear this week that you judged or criticized?
Chances are that no, you can't. Because you’ve got plenty going on in your life, that someone else’s clothes, or hair, or actions, are not going to take up much (if any) room in your mind.
And if you did judge someone on their outfit or what they were doing, well, how can you hope to live your life freely without judgement if you’re out there judging others? (Food for thought)
We are all generally so much more focused on our own situations to be remotely concerned with the actions or choices of strangers. Especially when these choices don’t affect anyone except for that person.
Our innate selfishness is a benefit for our self love because it means that the majority of people don’t care enough about those around them to judge them. Use this to your advantage!
And yes of course there will be some people who judge and criticize, but ask yourself this, “do you value the opinion of someone who chooses to spend their time judging others for simply living their life or pursuing happiness?” Because I can tell you that I absolutely do not value or welcome the opinion of those individuals. And even if I do end up on the receiving end of their judgement or criticism, how will that unvalued opinion affect me or my life?
Humans are naturally selfish beings. This comes down to evolution and survival of the fittest and general self preservation. But this fact of human life has allowed me to wear a fluorescent lime green silk button down with patterned silk green flared pants (sounds nuts but I swear it was a hella cute look) with all the confidence in the world.
It has allowed me to paint hearts on my face for Valentine’s Day and accept all of the compliments that come with it.
It has allowed me to do a bridesmaid dance in front of my best friends entire family and absolutely kill it.
It has given me the courage to walk into any room and make a friend with someone there.
These things still took courage and gave me pause before I went out and did them, but by reminding myself that no one cares about what I am doing as much as I do, I have been able to refocus my thoughts onto what makes me happy. Rather than focusing on what will make others accept me.
So, the next time you are feeling anxious or worried about the judgements of other, try reminding yourself of this self love tip that no one cares about what you are doing! And hopefully you’ll be back on track with your journey of Self Love.
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